- Fathers as Carers of their Children
Some years ago Margaret Mead, the famous American Anthropologist claimed that "fathers are a biological necessity but a social accident." In other words, most of the time the male has to be around to impregnate a woman for childbirth to occur, but he does not have much to do with the childbirth process, or with the upbringing of his children. I know a few men who would want to challenge that idea.
It is true that the idea was commonly accepted in the past. For instance, fathers used to be excluded from the birthing delivery room on the grounds that they had no active medical part to play in childbirth, and were simply an unhygienic problem that would just get in the way. Because there has been a shift in emphasis in recent years to give more attention to the emotional well-being of those concerned in childbirth, there has been a reluctant acceptance of the father's presence at his child's birth.
One British study of the effects of the father's involvement in the birthing process, by the National Childbirth Trust, found that fathers' presence "reduces the terror, loneliness, sensory deprivation and confusion of labor, expecially protracted labor, resulting in decreased birth complications." Other studies have shown that when fathers are present there is a reduction in mothers' reports of pain, less use of analgaesics, and more positive reports of the birthing experience from the mothers. You would think that all of this would be pretty good for the newborn child as well.
Involving fathers with their children right from the time of birth seems to have long-term effects on the father-child relationship, and a generally humanizing effect on the men involved. Typically such men take a greater interest in the care of their children, and have closer emotional bonds with them. A similar thing happens with women and their children in most cases, since early contact is the norm, but until recently men have been denied this particular pleasure.
A dramatic finding concerning the involvement of fathers in the care of children before the age of three, whether the child is their own or someone else's, is a significant reduction in the likelihood that that man will participate in the later sexual abuse of his own or other children. The emotional development that the father goes through seems to create a strong barrier against the later exploitation of such intimate relationships.
A Developmental Psychologist, Michael Lamb, has researched the role of the father in the development of the child, focusing upon the supposed "biological superiority" of women in this area. In one experiment he tried to discover whether males reacted physically to little children, in the same way that women do. Previous research has shown that sensitive mothers are alert to the mood changes of their children, and react with changes in their own heart rates when children change from happy to crying or vice versa.
Lamb showed men and women volunteers a videotape of a crying, obviously distressed infant, followed by a tape of a comfortable, cooing baby. The response of the males' nervous and circulatory systems to the tape of the upset infant was just the same as the females. They all showed increases in heart rate, speeded breathing, and overall alertness of the senses when the infant was crying, and relaxed again when the infant calmed down. It seems that women do not have any biological advantage when it comes to noticing what is going on with children. So if men are incompetent or dangerous around babies it is because they have been taught to be like this.
Men do tend to interact quite differently with their babies than women, perhaps because they are socialized into these patterns. They seem to always want to do things with their babies when they pick them up, rather than just holding them tenderly and gently. They are playful, provocative, and roughhousing, generally playing more games than mothers. These styles of attention seem to have some benefits.
Kyle Pruett, an American doctor who wrote a book called"The Nurturing Father" did a study of men who were the primary care givers in their families. The men came from all sorts of different backgrounds, and had pretty normal patterns of personal development. They had no special experience with children, and the only thing they had in common was a deep commitment to raising their own children.
At first when faced with everyday problems they tended to ask themselves, "what would my wife do?" However, after a little more than a week they began doing things their own way, and began thinking of themselves as parents in their own right. These men became engrossed with their babies just as most women do. Just as their babies had become the centre of their lives, they became the centre of their babies' lives.
Follow up study showed that the babies were all developmentally advanced. They showed physical skills earlier, and they were intellectually and socially advanced compared with other children. This is probably not simply because they had fathers as primary care-givers, but because they had both fathers and mothers actively involved in their care. Two parents are better than one.
The main barrier to the closer involvement of men in the care of their children seems to be a problem that affects other relationships too. Their general inability to express their emotions, and to participate fully in emotional intimacy. We might be able to accelerate change if we can get men involved with their children right from the start. The experience can change them and therefore enrich the lives of those closest to them.
More readings will be added to my blog from time to time. Have a quick look now to see the first posting on my blog PSYC1PLUS